Crystal Moon

Don Lamb swore.

Quite loudly and quite crudely.

He then waited ten seconds for the frustration to wear off and when it didn’t, he swore again.

Much louder and much cruder, then kicked the desk for good measure.

Sadly, even that didn’t work, which left him with one or two options

One was to swear again, which obviously didn’t do any good. Two was to actually do something about it.

The it in question was superglue.

The kind of superglue that worked when pressure was applied and it was all over his nice, big chair behind his nice, big desk in his nice, little office.

This time the sound from his throat was a defeated grunt as he ran a hand down his face, all the while staring at the sticky puddle making black leather shiny. Worse still, he couldn’t even blame the Mars girl for it, either.

Well, he could, but it would take some serious thought and right now, his brain could only concentrate on rescuing his beloved chair and loved it certainly was. He’d noticed a break in one of the arms that morning. Not a big break, but one that would end up that way if it wasn’t fixed.

He could have easily demanded a replacement. After all, a sheriff has to have a nice, big chair, but as it happened, Don Lamb didn’t want a new chair. He wanted this chair.

This chair with its perfectly shaped back that gave great support, the soft leather that didn’t stick in the Southern Californian heat, the groove that perfectly matched his ass…

He sucked it up and left his office, purposely ignoring the odd criminal waiting to be booked and aimed for the supply closet. Hopefully there was some general purpose adhesive cleaner in there because if not, then one of his loyal deputies would be hauling tail to a local hardware store.

He neither saw sneaky blue eyes staring after him or the owner scoot into his office.

*~*~*

Veronica sat in the sheriff’s chair and used her feet to bring it closer to the desk. She had at least four or five minutes before he got back. She didn’t know what surprised her more.

The fact he was doing some actual police work or he kept his desk tidy.

She snatched her portable scanner out of her bag with one hand while opening the statement file with the other, turning it to the bit she needed. If it just the address and name she needed, then she wouldn’t be here at all, but sadly, she needed the other side to the story.

She fully understood Mrs. Almers’ situation. If Backup ever went missing…

She shuddered, not wanting to think about something so awful.

“Dog owner lets dog run in back yard,” Veronica murmured to herself as she ran the scanner over page two. “Owner’s estranged husband shows up to discuss possible rekindling of romance. Dog goes missing. Estranged husband’s alledged ex mid-life crisis gets the blame.”

That was the version given to her. It would have gone to her father, but he was down in Reno looking for a run-away.

Now that she had the version given to Lamb, she could get going.

She would have asked him to look, but he was the sheriff and as much as she hated to admit it, he respected his position. Which also meant he wouldn’t dream of giving her what she needed for the opposing side. Besides, if he thought for one second she was doing this out of concern for the MIA pooch, he’d laugh his socks all the way to Canada.

If it hadn’t been for the dog, which was a gorgeous little white Bichon Frise called Polly, then she wouldn’t have touched this case with a ten foot pole. She hated the two people involved, Mrs. Almers in particular. The woman was so self-absorbed, she made Lamb look selfless. Still, the woman did love the dog and that was a girl scout point up in Veronica’s book.

Hearing Sacks voice closely followed by the sheriff’s, she closed the report and got up.

Or tried to get up.

“What the…” She placed a hand on each chair arm and pushed herself up, only stopping when a tearing sound reached her ears. Glancing down, she saw a partially white substance drying and crusting under her jeans. She wasn’t dumb enough to touch it with her fingers, given there was only one thing on the planet that dried in such a way.

Lamb’s voice was getting closer.

“Crap,” Veronica hissed and squirmed, hoping against hope that a miracle would happen and she could get loose. First she tried shimmy her hips up and down, and when that didn’t work, she shimmied them left and right. Unfortunately the only thing moving were the double elevators of dignity and humiliation.

One going up and the other down, both shaking hands as they passed.

She made another reach for freedom and got the same result.

She was stuck.

Stuck as in hopelessly devoted to the sheriff’s chair.

Veronica once heard that in a severely humiliating situation, the only thing to do was get the audience on your side by making yourself look like more of an idiot than you already did.

Unfortunately, her audience was Donald Lamb. Her first crush, her first love, and the first person to destroy her faith in humanity. She didn’t have to make herself look like an idiot for him to laugh at her, but since it was her one and only choice, she had to give it a shot.

She spun the chair to face the blinds and opened her mouth to let words flow with melody. “Nobody does it better…”

*~*~*

He closed the door loudly and leaned against it, ankles crossed and arms folded over his chest. He stared at the back of her little blonde head and simply couldn’t stop the smile if he tried.

Usually the sight of Veronica Mars anywhere in the department, especially his chair, would be enough to make his fists clench and teeth grind. Next to that was the sound of her voice. It was crystal clear, very female, and came with a slight Southern California twang.

It was the kind of voice that made a man think of all kindsa things.

Bad things and naughty things and dirty things. Things people did, but never talked about.

Don knew men paid money to hear a voice like that talk about those bad, dirty things.

To see her now, sitting in his chair and singing those words with that voice made today a good day.

A very, very good day. So good in fact, it was pinned up in his head with four shiny gold stars lining the solid gold frame that hung from a solid gold nail. Because that’s what this was.

Solid gold.

“It makes me feel sad for the rest, cos baby you’re the best…” Veronica finished with a fake smile that threatened to split her face. She spun to face the sheriff when there was no response.

Don simply looked at her.

“You’re a very rude man,” came that pretty little voice after a short while. “Walked right past me in the hall and didn’t even say hello. That’s not just rude, you know. It’s also ignorant.”

Don still kept silent as her smart mouth opened again.

“There I was, all starry eyed over my favourite law enforcer and does he notice?” Her head shook, causing blonde hair to bounce off her cheeks. “My heart broke, Donald. Broke right in two.”

No reply came forth.

“So I think you should make it up to me.” This time, she nodded and this time, she got a response.

He winced in mock shame. “I’m already an incompetent sheriff, Veronica. How on Earth could I make up for breaking the heart of my favourite amateur detective?” An expression of deep thought crossed his face and he tapped his chin with a finger. “Nope. Can’t think of anything. It’s probably a good idea to let me go and get over me.”

Damn the man. Throwing her words in her face. If she wasn’t stuck, she’d get up and kick him where it hurt. Unfortunately, she was stuck and therefore couldn’t kick him where it hurt.

Veronica out and out refused to beg. “I’m willing to give you another chance.”

“I know you are, sweetheart.” Don stated, lacing his voice with the right amount of longing and adoration to annoy. “But I just love you too much to have you suffer my behaviour anymore. You’ll find someone who deserves you, Veronica Mars.”

She opened her mouth to retort and Don threw the adhesive remover into the air before catching it.

The statement loud and oh so clear.

Veronica’s chest rose with a deep breath that did little to calm. “You shouldn’t put yourself down. Self-confidence is so much more attractive.”

“How much more?”

Again, her mouth opened and again the remover was thrown and caught.

She might be able to control her mouth, but she couldn’t control her eyes or what flashed in them. Currently, desperation warred with rage and pride. “Enough to get me all hot and bothered under my collar.”

Don pretty much knew she’d retaliate in the very near future and he knew that retaliation would end with his dignity in shreds. Still, he couldn’t bring himself care. At least not when she oh so direly needed his help.

He openly smirked at her. “Then it’s a good thing I’ve got issues.”

Refusing to let him win, even just this once, Veronica stared at him for a second or two and smiled a saccharine smile. “I’ll pee, Lamb. I swear it,” then watched his smirk falter and knew she had him. “All I have to do is sit here and think of waterfalls. Angel Falls is the highest, I think. I would ask if you knew, but like you said. Issues.”

The sheriff scoffed, feeling his leverage slip through his fingers. “And what, Mars? Walk out of here with evidence saying you’re not ready for big girl pants?”

“Pssshh! Pssshh! Psshh!”

She really wouldn’t piss in his chair just get one over on him, would she?

“Pssshh! Pssshh! Pssshh!”

“Mars…”

“Do you mind? I’m thinking here. Psssssshhhhhh!”

“You would. You really, really would piss your pants.”

“Think of it as indoor water sports, Deputy.”

Don rolled his eyes and pushed away from the door, dropping the adhesive remover onto the desk as he walked round to Veronica’s side. Kneeling down, he tried to peel blue denim away from the leather, but with no success. “You’re stuck.”

“You really are starting to learn!” She exclaimed with a little round of applause. “What’s next? Oh, wait. Don’t tell me. The alphabet? I’m right, aren’t I? I knew it. See how clever I am?”

“You want to talk about being clever, Mars? How about we discuss your skills of observation? Or lack of them.”

“Either help me or I go pee-pee in your potty.”

He rolled eyes and shook his head. “You pee-pee in my potty and I’ll get the whole station to help get you out.”

Innocence sparkled in her eyes. “You’d really ground the whole force to help me out? People will talk.”

Instead of taking the bait, Don laughed what had to be his first genuine laugh all week. “I gotta admit, Mars. You’re something else.”

“Colour me insulted.”

“Not an insult.”

In that case, “Colour me surprised.”

The sheriff scoffed. “Stop the act, Mars. It’s getting old.”

There was one thing and one thing only that stopped the remark from escaping her mouth, and that was his expression.

There was humour in those blues of his. No smugness, no arrogance, no nothing apart from honest to goodness humour. Humour that was enhanced when he arched a single eyebrow.

“Alright,” Veronica sighed in resignation. “Can you help me out and up?”

“Only by cutting off your jeans.”